搞笑英语话剧剧本

我们班刚演过 ，获得了系里一等奖(孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本) 虽然人物多了一个，可以有群众演员嘛

焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)

刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)

焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)

刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)

太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)

强盗burglars(abandc)

prologue 序幕

(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)

j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my

wife is wusong

译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。

(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!

译：我才不怕你呢！

(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hoodshe is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me all this i donot care i only want she to be tender than me but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!

译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！

(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)

my god! who can help me(下)

译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？

act1 第一幕

(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)

jm(拄拐棍上):i can!

(对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you

l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum

jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”

l:okmy most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up

jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badlyyou have been so rude, so brusque,so

lazy……

l:but……

jm:never interrupt me!

l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all

daylong,cooking and washing i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken

and……

jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!

l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you(开始解围裙)go and ask your son i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)

act2

(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)

l:mum, i’m back!

lm:you are backwhywhat happened

l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law

lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on

marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen

to me look at yourself……

l:but,mum……

lm:never interrupt me!

l:mum,i’m not interrupting you i just want to tell you that you are always right ok and

i’ll marry whomever you want me to

lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the markethe said:“if your daughter

haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go

and tell him(下)

l(惊愕):what the mayor’s sonthe most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood (手中的锅

铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)

act3

(j睡眼惺忪上)

j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks

(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!

(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself

(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围

裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now

she has gonei have to cook for my mother and myself

jm(上):where’s my breakfast where’slunchhasn’t she got up yet

j:mum, can’t you rememberlunch has gone!

jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless lunch is an ice

girl,go and take her back!

j(立正敬礼):yes madam!

act4

(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)

a:hey you!stop and listen to us!

the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)

b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)

c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)

ab&c:give us all your money!

j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough

(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)

a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!

b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!

c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next monthwe can go and

rob the wedding!

a&b:good idea!

j(惊讶):what what lunch is going to get married it’s impossible!

ab&c:why a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!

j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!

(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou i’ll go

with you you take the money and i take the bride

b:have you got any experience

j:no but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)

act5

(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)

(j和三强盗跃至台中)

abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!

a:the road is built by me!

b:and i planted one tree

c:if you want to go by this street---

j:give us all your money!

(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)

l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)

(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)

j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去）

(j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)

(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)

j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you

l(哭状):i hurt a lot!

j:don’t cry babyi’ll go and fetch the medicine (下)

l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)

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随着世界经济的发展,我国与世界各国之间的商务联络越来越密切,商务英语作为经济往来的重要桥梁也越来越重要,商务英语专业发展也越来越引人注目。下面是我带来的，欢迎阅读!

1

韩剧引发相关衍生品销售热潮

A megahit South Korean drama is inspiring Chinese video-steaming website iQiyi to explore e-merce as a new way to grow revenue

一部韩剧的热播促使中国视讯网站爱奇艺探索新的电商销售模式以提升收益。

The popularity of Descendants of the Sun, which has been viewed a bined 192 billion times online in China, shows how panies can benefit from consumers who want to mimic styles of celebrities

《太阳的后裔》在中国迄今为止已经取得192亿的点选量，这部剧的热播让人们看到公司是怎样从那些想要模仿明星风格的粉丝身上获取利润的。

IQiyi, the official streaming site of the 16-episode drama in China, is seeing sky rocketing sales of items used by actress Song Hye-gyo, whose character is a doctor in the series

作为这部十六集电视剧在中国的官方独家授权网站，爱奇艺销售的与剧中女主角宋慧乔饰演一名医生同款商品的销量剧增。

The Beijing-based pany, backed by Internet giant Baidu Inc, said the daily sales on its e-merce site jumped by 180 percent in March after it started streaming the drama on Feb 24

这家由网际网路巨头百度持股总部位于北京的公司称，自从2月24日此剧开播至进入3月份以来，其网上商城的每日交易额已经增加了180% 。

Sales of a Laneige cream from Amore Pacific Corp surged by 10 times and a Daniel Wellington watch by eightfold

其中，乔妹同款兰芝气垫BB的销量剧增10倍，DW手表销量也升高了8倍。

"The whopping sales figures illustrate there is a huge demand for derivatives of quality content,such as clothing and co etics," iQiqi said in a statement

爱奇艺在一份宣告中称：“销量的巨大攀升证明消费者对于剧中相关衍生物如衣服、化妆品等的需求巨大。”

The pany did not disclose detailed numbers but said Guangdong, Shanghai and Beijing are the top three regions where consumers spend most on buying items used by actors in the drama

公司虽然没有透露具体的资料，但指出广东、上海和北京的消费者在购买剧中主角同款商品上花费最多。

To enable viewers to do shopping while watching, iQiyi has embedded shopping links into videos so that consumers can get what they want with a simple click of the mouse

为了使观众可以“边看边买”，爱奇艺在视讯中植入了购物连结，使观众只需轻轻一点就能买到他们想要的商品。

Wang Xiangjun, chief management officer at iQiyi, said: "E-merce is an important part of our efforts to monetize intellectual properties We will continue expanding our presence in e-tailing by selling products used in popular entertainment shows"

爱奇艺的首席营销官王向军说：“线上商城是我们智慧财产权变现的努力中重要的一部分，我们将继续扩大在明星同款商品零售上的投入力度。”

Chinese video sites are suffering from financial losses as they are paying big checks to purchase quality content

由于在购买内容版权上的巨大投入，中国许多视讯网站正遭受着亏损。

iQiyi’s arch rival Youku Tudou Inc is also teaming up with its parent pany Alibaba Group Holding Ltd to experiment on video-based e-merce, so as to find new revenue sources beyond advertising and membership fees

爱奇艺的主要竞争对手优酷土豆公司也在与其控股公司阿里巴巴集团合作试水基于内容的电子商务领域，以开拓除了广告费和会员收费之外的其它收入来源。

Pang Yiming, a senior yst at Beijing-based Internet consultancy Analysys International, said South Korean dramas are of great and unwavering appeal to Chinese female consumers

来自北京易观国际公司的高阶分析师庞一鸣称，韩剧对于中国的女性消费者有着稳定且巨大的吸引力。

2

迪拜乞丐月入47万，网友：求组团

Begging is surely big business And it has proven to be so in Dubai, where a recently arrested beggar was found making as much as 270,000 dirham around 73,500 US dollars a month

乞讨可是一笔大生意。在迪拜乞讨就证明了这一点，那里最近逮捕了一个乞丐，发现他的月收入居然多达27万迪拉姆约73500美元，47万人民币。

The beggar was among dozens arrested by Dubai Municipality inspectors, local media reported

据当地媒体报道，迪拜市政巡逻员逮捕了几十个乞讨者，此人只是其中之一。

Fifty nine beggars were caught during the first three months of 2016, said Faisal Al Badiawi, head of the markets section at the Dubai Municipality, in a statement

迪拜市市场部门主管Faisal Al Badiawi 在一份宣告中说，2016年前三个月共抓了59名乞丐。

Those arrests were part of a campaign carried out by the municipality in cooperation with the emirate’s police to bat begging in Dubai

这些逮捕行动是迪拜市与阿联酋警方合作进行的打击乞讨活动的一部分。

“Some of the beggars had passports issued with business or tourist visas,” Al Badiawi told reporters

Faisal Al Badiawi在接受采访时说，“有些乞讨者是持有商务或旅游签证的。”

“During the campaign, we found that the majority of beggars had entered the country legally with a three-month visa, in order to collect as much money as they could during their time here,” Al Badiawi explained

Al Badiawi解释说，“在逮捕活动中，我们发现大多数乞讨者都是通过3个月旅游签证合法的‘混’到迪拜，在这段时间他们尽可能多的去赚钱。”

The seizures showed that one beggar was making about 73,500 dollars per month “More money was collected on Fridays when beggars stood in front of mosques,” Al Badiawi said

缴获结果显示，一个乞丐每月大约收入73500美元。Al Badiawi 说，“这些乞丐每星期五在 寺门口“开工”时，还有可能赚到更多的钱。”

Local authorities of Dubai have been carrying out year-long operations to bat begging along the city streets

迪拜当局针对这些街头乞讨者展开了长达一年的逮捕行动。

In 2015, up to 197 begging-related arrests were made during an anti-begging campaign around Ramadan, according to a previous report of Gulf News Police said street begging affects the city’s security

据海湾新闻之前的一个报道，2015年斋月期间开展的一次反乞讨运动中，多达197名乞讨者被逮捕。警方称，街头乞讨影响城市的安全。

3

优步境外打车 也可以用支付宝付人民币了~~

Taxi-hailing service Uber and China’s e-merce giant Alibaba Group have agreed a deal that will allow Chinese travelers to pay for a taxi in any country where Uber operates

打车软体优步和中国电子商务巨头阿里巴巴集团已经达成协议，允许乘客在任何国家的优步服务中用支付宝付款。

It means they can pay for their rides in yuan using their Alipay accounts

这意味着乘客能通过支付宝账户来用人民币付车费了。

US car sharing service Lyft and China’s Didi Chuxing recently launched a similar service

美国的另一款打车软体来福车和中国的滴滴出行最近也合作开发了一项相似的服务。

The growth in artphone transport services is encouraging firms to build international partnerships

智慧手机交通服务的进步正在 企业建立国际合作关系。

Before the agreement, mainland Chinese travelers using the Uber app overseas needed to connect a dual-currency credit card with their Uber account and were billed for their journeys in US dollars

在协议达成之前，中国大陆的游客在海外用优步软体需要用优步账号系结双币信用卡然后用美元来付车费的账单。

Alipay is the online payment service of Ant Financial Services, an affiliate of Chinese e-merce giant Alibaba

支付宝是蚂蚁金融的线上支付服务软体，蚂蚁金融是中国电子商务巨头阿里巴巴的子公司。

Alibaba is an investor in both Didi and Lyft, on top of its partnership with Uber

除了和优步有合作关系，阿里巴巴同时是滴滴和来福车的投资者。

Uber said its customers had been able to use Alipay for their journeys in mainline China since 2014 and in Hong Kong, Taiwan and Macau since early 2016

优步说，他的客户从2014年起就已经能用支付宝在中国大陆和香港付车费了，2016年在台湾和澳门也可以用支付宝付费了。

The San Francisco-based pany said the cross-border payments arrangement would cover mainland Chinese travelers in 400 cities

优步总部设在旧金山，他们表示中国大陆乘客跨境付账的服务将会覆盖400个城市。

Uber and Alibaba said they intended to expand co-operation in India through Alipay’s links with Paytm, which is India’s largest mobile payment provider

优步和阿里表示他们准备通过支付宝和印度最大的移动支付平台Paytm的合作关系来扩充套件与印度方面的合作。

Early last year, Ant Financial teamed up with parent pany Alibaba to invest more than $500m 341m in Paytm

去年早些时候，蚂蚁金融联手母公司阿里巴巴在Paytm投资超过5亿美元341亿英镑。

Rival alliances

竞争对手联盟

Didi, and Lyft have also joined forces with ride-hailing apps GrabTaxi in Southeast Asia and Ola in India

滴滴和来福车也开始与东南亚打车软体Grab Taxi以及印度的打车软体Ola联合。

The four panies have formed a strategic partnership in a bid to pete with Uber

这四家公司结成了战略性合作关系，力图和优步竞争。

This allows them to share technology and local knowledge

这使得他们能够分享技术和当地资源。