谁来帮忙翻译一下？？？

你的版本很乱 我网上找了一个分段正常的。。。
Spread the Stupidity…
传播愚蠢
Only in America … do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front
只有在美国药店让病人走到药店的背后去拿处方单而健康人可以直接在药店前柜买香烟
Only in America … do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke
只有在美国人们买双层奶酪汉堡,大薯条,和减肥专用可乐
Only in America … do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters
只有在美国银行两扇门都打开但是把原子笔连在柜台上
Only in America … do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage
只有在美国我们把值上千美元的汽车放在马路上,把没用的垃圾放在车库里
Only in America … do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight
只有在美国我们买一包十根的热狗香肠和一包八个的热狗面包
Only in America … do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’
只有在美国我们用politics(政治)来指那个过程:而poli在拉丁语里表示许多,tics表示吸血生物
Only in America … do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
只有在美国我们的驾车道专用atm机上有刻着布莱叶盲文
EVER WONDER …
曾经不明白
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin
为什么我们的头发越晒越白,皮肤却越晒越黑
Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed
为什么女人不能张着嘴巴涂眉毛膏
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’
为什么你从来不看到头条大字"巫师赢了**"
Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word
为什么‘abbreviated’(简写的)是一个这么长的单词
Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’
为什么医生们把他们做的事叫做练习
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons
为什么柠檬汁要添加人工味素,但是洗洁精却用真的柠檬汁做
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker
为什么帮你投资资金的人叫做broker(字面意思:破坏者;实际意思:经纪人）？
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour
为什么一天中车流最慢的时间叫做rush hour（字面意思：急速时间；实际意思：交通高峰时间）
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food
为什么没有老鼠味的猫食？
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes
诺亚为什么没有打死那两只蚊子？
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections
为什么他们要为注射死刑的注射器的针头消毒？
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes
你知道那个飞机上的不会毁坏的黑匣子吗？
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff!
为什么他们不把整架飞机都做成那个材料的？
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains
为什么绵羊淋雨了不会缩水？
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together
为什么要把那些都连在一起的东西叫做apartment（字面意思：分开的东西；实际意思：公寓房）
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress
既然con是pro的反义词（一个表示优点一个缺点），那么congress（国会）是不是就是progress（进步）的反义词？
If flying is so safe,why do they call the airport the terminal
为什么飞行顺利但是他们把机场叫做terminal（字面：终结者；实际：终点）
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)in other words, send it to everyone We all need to smile every once in a while
现在你终于笑出来了。该你了，传播愚蠢，把这篇文章发给你想要带去笑容（就算只是暗暗一笑）的人换句话说,把这篇文章发给所有人,我们随时都需要笑一笑

终于翻完了手工手工