《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）
本文来自: 恒星英语学习网(wwwHxencom) 详细出处参考：http://wwwhxencom/yingyujuben/2007-03-30/4960htmlWanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hoodSheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanmeAllthisIdonotcareIonlywanthertobetender
thanmeButsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”
L:OKMymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup
JM:SinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadlyYouhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashingIhaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
sonI’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:YouarebackWhyWhathappened
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tomeLookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyouIjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOKAnd
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarketHesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim(下)
L(惊愕):WhatThemayor’ssonThemostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgoneIhavetocookformymotherandmyself
JM(上):Where’smybreakfastWhere’sLunchHasn’tshegotupyet
J:Mum,can’tyourememberLunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuselessLunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonthWEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):WhatWhatLunchisgoingtogetmarriedIt’simpossible!
AB&C:WhyAprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyouI’llgo
withyouYoutakethemoneyandItakethebride
B:Haveyougotanyexperience
J:NoButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybabyI’llgoandfetchthemedicine (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)
《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）
Wanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hoodSheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanmeAllthisIdonotcareIonlywanthertobetender
thanmeButsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”
L:OKMymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup
JM:SinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadlyYouhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashingIhaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
sonI’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:YouarebackWhyWhathappened
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tomeLookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyouIjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOKAnd
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarketHesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim(下)
L(惊愕):WhatThemayor’ssonThemostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgoneIhavetocookformymotherandmyself
JM(上):Where’smybreakfastWhere’sLunchHasn’tshegotupyet
J:Mum,can’tyourememberLunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuselessLunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonthWEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):WhatWhatLunchisgoingtogetmarriedIt’simpossible!
AB&C:WhyAprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyouI’llgo
withyouYoutakethemoneyandItakethebride
B:Haveyougotanyexperience
J:NoButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybabyI’llgoandfetchthemedicine (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hoodSheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanmeAllthisIdonotcareIonlywanthertobetender
thanmeButsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”
L:OKMymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup
JM:SinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadlyYouhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashingIhaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
sonI’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:YouarebackWhyWhathappened
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tomeLookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyouIjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOKAnd
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarketHesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim(下)
L(惊愕):WhatThemayor’ssonThemostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgoneIhavetocookformymotherandmyself
JM(上):Where’smybreakfastWhere’sLunchHasn’tshegotupyet
J:Mum,can’tyourememberLunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuselessLunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonthWEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):WhatWhatLunchisgoingtogetmarriedIt’simpossible!
AB&C:WhyAprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyouI’llgo
withyouYoutakethemoneyandItakethebride
B:Haveyougotanyexperience
J:NoButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybabyI’llgoandfetchthemedicine (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)
下面这个也不错，是幽默话剧
荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本
旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng” But finally he failed Do you want to know what happened at that time Okay, next show will tell you the truth
Action I
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth I am so scared So what can I do (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）
太子：Oh yeah~~~ What is the most expensive commodity in this century Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK
阿三：Yes
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲
Are you Li mochou
李莫愁
Yes
荆轲
OK I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world
李莫愁
Are you challenging me
荆轲
Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状：What happened Why aren’t you hurt
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person Don't we Do we （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou You never know what you're gonna get" I got it, Momma is right
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question
阿三：Hero，we need your help
荆柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money
荆柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card
荆柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world If you say OK, she is yours
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What What’s the TCM
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM Any of them can give you the answer
阿三：Excuse me What’s the TCM
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM
太子丹：I must show you the trump card Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea It is a brand new product of Unilever China
荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight
阿三：You want Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent Why are you looking at me Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up Take it! Do you really like Really你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……
（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）
荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do I will do anything for you
太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!
Action Ш
（《大话西游》主题曲响起）
荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River
荆珂：Just stop here, please Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby
（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）
荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）
荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)
妻子：Well Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you
荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor promise me you will survive that you will never give up no matter what happens no matter how hopeless promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）
妻子:"I promise"
荆轲:"Never let go “
妻子:"I promise I will never let go, Jack I'll never let go"
（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）
妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，
荆珂上船，渐渐远去
妻子：It’s a good day to die Never come back Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account
阿三：Okay okay!
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng
1、Barbie Girl
最居争议MV，歌词有鼓吹性的嫌疑：）
～48MB
（此真人版实难找到。网上更多流行的是某惯于意*的日本人搞的动漫版，极其暴露与污秽，将歌曲本身双关意味破坏殆尽！）
下载：http://polaneigefreefr/stalkr-clips-n0-l33ch/Aqua%20-%20Barbie%20Girlmpg
2、Around The World
～35MB
值得品味的视听。
下载：http://polaneigefreefr/stalkr-clips-n0-l33ch/Aqua%20-%20Around%20The%20Worldmpg
3、We Belong To The Sea
～42MB
歌颂海的诗篇。
下载：http://polaneigefreefr/stalkr-clips-n0-l33ch/Aqua%20-%20We%20Belong%20To%20The%20Seampg
4、Turn Back Time
～32MB
生活中免不了有让人后悔的事情发生
下载：http://polaneigefreefr/stalkr-clips-n0-l33ch/Aqua%20-%20Turn%20Back%20Timempg
5、Roses Are Red
～39MB
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
爱情的赞歌。
下载：http://polaneigefreefr/stalkr-clips-n0-l33ch/Aqua%20-%20Roses%20Are%20Redmpg
6、My Oh My
～28MB
好痴情的歌。
下载：http://polaneigefreefr/stalkr-clips-n0-l33ch/Aqua%20-%20My%20Oh%20Mympg
7、Lollipop（棒棒糖）
甜！甜！太甜了！
～54MB
下载：http://polaneigefreefr/stalkr-clips-n0-l33ch/Aqua%20-%20Lollipopmpg
8、Happy Boys And Happy Girls
男声的热烈、I语带双关暗含性在这首歌里一如其它首歌，但女声表现得好天真、纯洁。
～37MB
下载：http://polaneigefreefr/stalkr-clips-n0-l33ch/Aqua%20-%20Happy%20boys%20and%20girls%20%28live%29mpg
9、DrJones
讲述相思苦。
～27MB
下载：http://polaneigefreefr/stalkr-clips-n0-l33ch/Aqua%20-%20Dr%20Jonesmpg
附：乐队解散后Lene单独的MV
1、It's Your Duty()
rtsp://lonrleinteroutemediaservicescom:554/%7b6ffab433-1c7d-4a4a-a9cc-472ebc88c47e%7d/%7bb62d4829-aded-4005-9312-8712388932d0%7d/lene_itsyourdutyc-r8-250rm
①、红袖本指女子红色的衣袖,代指美女如唐代白居易《对酒吟》：“今夜还先醉,应烦红袖扶”
②、红裙本指妇女穿的裙,也指妇女如唐代韩愈《醉赠诺z书》：“长安众富儿,盘馔罗膻荤；不解文字饮,惟能醉红裙”
③、红粉本指妇女化妆用的胭脂和白粉,也代指美女如唐代李商隐《马嵬》：“冀马燕犀动地来,自埋红粉白成灰”
④、粉黛本指妇女涂在脸上的白粉和画眉用的青黑色颜料,喻指美女如唐代白居易《长恨歌》：“回眸一笑百媚生,六宫粉黛无颜色”
⑤、蛾眉本指女子细长而弯曲的眉毛,借为美人的代称如唐代高适《塞下曲》：“荡子从军事征战,蛾眉蝉娟守空闺”
⑥、红颜本指妇女美丽的容颜,也代指美女如清代吴伟业《圆圆曲》：“痛哭六军俱缟素,冲冠一怒为红颜”
⑦、裙钗因妇女著裙插钗,因此称妇女为裙钗如清代曹雪芹《红楼梦》：“我堂堂须眉,诚不若彼裙钗”
⑧、巾帼本指妇女的头巾和发饰,后成为妇女的代称如清代湘灵子《轩亭冤赏花》：“新世界,旧乾坤,巾帼英雄叫九阍”
很多人对激素戒断反应的理解迷迷糊糊，通俗一些理解，类似吸毒者犯毒瘾，当吸毒者不间断的吸毒时，他会感到比较亢奋、有活力……，当戒毒时，整个人就会不理智、抽搐等。激素对于皮肤来说就相当于毒品，使用时皮肤状态快速改善良好，停用后出现各种皮肤症状，干、痒、红、痘,疹子，白头等。这就是激素戒断反应。
长期大量使用激素，可以引起皮肤蛋白质等代谢紊乱，屏障破坏，皮肤薄弱，真皮内毛细血管扩张，真表皮炎症，毛囊皮脂腺发炎等等，特别是本身就是敏感肤质人群。激素对皮肤产生的这些伤害是长期存在的，甚至是几年后还会有反复。有些皮肤屏障还未修复完全，遇到了外界物理性刺激(冷热风晒)化学刺激(食物、吸入、护肤品)、内源性变化(熬夜、压力大、情绪焦虑等)就出现了皮炎。
激素脸如何治疗才会有效？
激素脸与普通的皮肤病不同，根源在于激素在皮肤捣鬼，但是很多患者只贪图眼前舒服，无休止的缓解症状，从不从根本入手，导致激素脸越治越严重，所以认清以下这些“流言”，以免走进了激素脸的修复误区。
流言1：修复角质层后，激素脸就会好!
角质层是皮肤的最外层，是皮肤细胞代谢脱落掉的死细胞，对皮肤具有防护功能与锁水功能。
激素外用之后，会对皮肤表层进行破坏，这是事实，随后会沉积形成对皮肤依赖性的副作用伤害，这也就是为什么激素脸症状会反复出现。
激素在皮肤中，会阻断细胞的分裂，也就是皮肤某处的角质层总是修复不好，反复出现症状的主要原因。
流言2：激素脸使用他克莫司等非激素药膏就会好!
一般的药膏抹在脸上，要么就是在为皮肤消炎杀菌，止痒止痛，或者在以各种形式抑制激素皮炎的症状。如果发现药膏让你的皮肤好一段时间，之后皮肤又反复，不要再用了，基本可以判定其中含有激素。
流言3：中医排毒就是喝中药，调理身体激素皮炎就会好!
激素脸仅是皮肤层次的问题，在修复过程中可以用喝中药的方式辅助修复，但绝对不是主要的。激素脸是激素对肌肤的破坏，不是体质问题，如果中药不对症，还会喝坏身体。
治疗激素脸要谨慎，不仅要停止使用含有激素的护肤产品，还需要排出皮肤底层的毒素，最重要的就是进行皮肤重建。
在激素脸的治疗修复过程中，这个还是比较有争议的，主要是针对治疗修复时所用的产品。激素脸的治疗需要修复、提高自身皮肤免疫力，消炎。
经研究检测发现，激素依赖性皮炎患者的皮肤皮脂和水分含量均有一定程度下降。针对这些异常，需要为皮肤补充相应成分来修复受损的屏障。巴赫复欣主要成分为III型重组类人胶原蛋白，医用透明质酸钠，修复重建皮肤屏障功能，具有非常好的亲水性和稳定性，其氨基酸组成与天然胶原蛋白氨基酸序列相应部分100%相同，应用于人体不会产生免疫排斥和过敏反应，巧妙地利用其优秀的填充性，快速恢复受损的皮肤粘膜屏障功能，修复受损的弹性纤维，加快恢复组织和创面愈合，减轻疤痕。适用于皮炎、湿疹的治疗，用于激素性皮炎、湿疹引起的局部皮肤瘙痒、灼热、皮肤紧绷、疼痛等。可修复皮肤屏障功能，用于皮肤屏障功能受损引起的皮肤干燥脱屑、红斑、丘疹、红血丝及皮肤萎缩变薄的修复。平常护肤也可使用，安全无激素，无有害物质，还能去除内毒素。
巴赫复欣III型重组类人胶原蛋白修护系
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